Our discussion the other week on Koskela's article on women's fear made me think about the restrictions I put on myself . It also led me to make a list of things that I do or don't do because of feelings of fear or threat or danger.
- When I lived in Toledo, I would call a friend while I was walking home in case something would happen to me on the way home, so that they would know where I was and, if something would have happened, could report it.
- At the same time I had a friend going to OU who used to call me when she was walking home for the same reason.
- I don't go to concerts unless I can find someone to go with me.
- I don't talk to people I don't know in most public spaces.
- I don't dress up when I go to bars ,and I don't wear heels.
- If I'm walking outside at night I walk in well lit areas.
- If the area is not well lit I make sure to walk far away from trees or shrubs or parked cars.
- I almost always take my phone with me when I go somewhere. One time I forgot to take my phone with me while going on a WalMart run that ended up taking way longer than expected. I came home to find my phone having all of these missed calls. When I listened to my messages I had a freaked out message from my best friend which informed me that my boyfriend and his best friend were running around Athens looking at me because they thought that something horrible had happened to me, since I didn't answer my phone and I had been gone later than expected.
- I do not use parking garages after dark.
- When I started driving my mom gave me some mace.
- My dad bought me a nice pocket knife when I moved out of my parents house.
- My grandmother gave me a T pin , which is basically a giant pin, so that I could put it on the outside of my coat so that if anyone tried to attack me , I could poke them in the eyes or face with it.
- Parent's made me take a women's self defense class when I was in high school
- When my sisters car broke down the other week at Stroud's Run and I was trying to jump it , my mom called, and after finding out I was trying to start her car by myself without someone else with me , yelled at me because she " doesn't want me out there by myself."
- On my way to camp one time I stopped to offer my phone to a kid who drove their car off the road in a snow storm, when I got to camp and was telling the story to a co-worker she told me that it's against some random rules we have to offer assistance to cars pulled over on the side of the road, because we never know who could be in the car.
I think that a little bit of fear is completely natural, but when fear of violence makes a list this big in five minutes I think things are getting a little out of hand. I'm scared of drowning but the only thing I do to avoid that is wear a pfd 25% of the time I'm near a body of water.
This topic really brings to the forefront of your mind how your daily actions and policing of yourself and others can lead to creating spaces that become geographies of fear. I could definitely identify with some of the points you listed in your blog post. There are certain places that I avoid at times because I am fearful for my safety. I never really thought of it until this class, but when friends, parents, etc tell women to be careful, or to avoid spaces, or give you weapons to protect yourself, it really enforces the idea that women are vulnerable, even though that individual is giving you that warning or means of protection because they care about you, and think they are doing the right thing. It frustrates me when I think about all the spaces I avoid because I believe and am told that they are not safe spaces for me. However, if I do decide to go for a walk in the park at night who is to say that something may or may not happen to me. That's what makes it hard to address this situation, because I think women should take back spaces that are identified as geographies of fear, however how do you go about reclaiming those spaces.
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